‘Let’s Talk about Sex’ breaks down stigmas

College is a time when students have the opportunity to branch out and learn more about themselves. It doesn’t just apply to finding their future friends or career, but to their sexuality and how they identify. 

The Women’s Center, LGBT Center and the Violence Awareness Response Program (VARP) allowed students to learn about safe sex and consent in a fun, yet informative way.

Women’s Center Director Liz Steinborn-Gourley said she wanted to host this event with the other organizations earlier in the year as most sexual violence occurs within the first six weeks of being on a college campus. 

“Being open and honest and showing students there’s three resources on campus who are comfortable talking about sex without getting squeamish and silly is really important,” Steinborn-Gourley said. 

One of the main themes of the night was talking about consent and the acronym FRIES, which stands for: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific. Graduate students acted out skits showing scenarios representing each letter of the acronym to represent various ways consent is given. 

Students anonymously participated in three different Kahoots. The first one covered questions about safe sex and contraceptives. Out of 53 participants: 78% of students said talking about sex was easy while 22% said it was not; 49% said they’ve had sex with one partner, 51% said they had not.

Steinborn-Gourley said the poll-like Kahoot surveys were done to show varied answers and no significant trends among students.

“We want to emphasize choosing to have an active sex life is your choice. If it’s something you want to explore, we want to help you know where your resources are and how to do it safely,” Steinborn-Gourley said. “If you choose not to have sex, that’s also a completely fine and good choice.”

Later questions revealed: 65% of students had a sexual health exam; 51% of students used a form of birth control; and 57% of students regularly used condoms. 

Steinborn-Gourley told students about resources they could utilize in Mankato for sexual health screenings and where to get contraceptives including Planned Parenthood, the Open Door Health Clinic and Student Health Services. 

The second Kahoot covered questions about sexual orientation and gender. LGBT Center Director Zeke Sorenson informed students on the difference between sex and gender.

“Sex is referring to the biological and physiological characteristics associated with physical features like chromosomes and reproductive sexual anatomy. Gender is a social construct and how we feel, identify and express gender in terms of masculinity and femininity is really on a spectrum,” Sorenson said.

Sorenson explained why conversations around sex and gender are becoming more popular. 

“It just wasn’t talked about or communities were silenced and information wasn’t as accessible to the general public until modern times,” Sorenson said.

They also wanted students to know when discussing topics around sexuality and gender to approach them respectfully and with a willingness to be open. 

“It’s okay to have your own values, beliefs and ideologies that are different from someone else and it’s okay if you don’t fully understand, but it’s not okay to go out of your way to be jerks to others because their identity is different than yours,” Sorenson said. 

The third Kahoot had questions regarding consent and how to identify it. Some of the questions from the poll showed 31% students said they had been sexually assaulted and 91% of students said they knew of someone who had been sexually assaulted.

VARP Director Denise Crisafi said consent is “the presence of the yes, not the absence of a no.” She then told students about various verbal and non-verbal ways to show consent, what consent doesn’t look like and the importance of respecting boundaries.

“It doesn’t matter if you are in a long-term relationship or hooking up with somebody one time. It’s about knowing the person you’re with,” Crisafi said.

Crisafi gave the microphone back to Sorenson who said while 53% of heterosexual women reported sexual violence, the LGBTQ+ community was “disproportionately” impacted by sexual assault. 

Data from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center found 80% of bisexual women, 56% bisexual men and 60% of lesbian women and gay men reported sexual violence. About 25% of lesbian women, 25% of gay men and 64% of transgender people experienced rape in their lifetime. 

Sorenson said one of the reasons they believe the statistics are so high comes from the misinformation spread about the LGBTQ+ community. 

“Lawmakers are talking about these people in a dehumanizing way and they’re not acknowledging that there are people behind issues they’re discussing,” Sorenson said. “Rather than talking about issues itself, it starts to become attacks on the community itself.”

Crisafi said proactive harm reduction includes knowing resources, bystander intervention and understanding warning signs. She said blaming the victim for how they dressed, their location or substance use is never the answer.

“Shaming statements have been recycled like ‘I’m sorry that happened to you but, you shouldn’t have been out there alone or wearing that or drinking.’ None of that excuses someone’s predatory behavior,” Crisafi said. “We’re not asking the question ‘Why did that person go out and choose to do that tonight?’ Somebody decided to do that to another person.”

Sophomore Kim Chavez worked in the Women’s Center last year and said she attended because it’s “good to refresh” information on the importance of sex and consent. Chavez said she hoped others realized it’s okay to talk about sex and consent and it’s not “scary” or “taboo” as some may think it is.

“It’s important to get the word out and advocate and talk about it,” Chavez said.

photo caption: students acted out scenarios about how consent can be received, not just in intimate moments, but ones in everyday life. (Emma Johnson/The Reporter)

Write to Emma Johnson at emma.johnson.5@mnsu.edu