Redhead Ramblings: The Beginning of the End

Well, this day is one I certainly wasn’t prepared for — my last first day of school. I know in high school some girls made a big deal out of the first day of senior year and how it would all be different. Albeit true, I knew I was going to college, so it was just another first day of school.

Now … emotions are coming with brute force. 

I’ve been in school for 17 years, 19 if you count two years of preschool. Each one of those years brought new classes and new routines to get into. While it took me a couple of years to adjust to school, I soon looked forward to seeing who was in my classes, the fun school events and who I would have as my teacher each year. 

While elementary and middle school seemed to last years, high school went by in a minute. And college? That went by in milliseconds. All these seemingly minute milestones (first day of 4th grade, 8th grade, junior year of high school) passed me by quicker than I thought they would. Stressful homework nights where I cried because I couldn’t understand my physics homework blended into being under the Friday Night Lights shouting “I believe that we just won!”

Nearly four years ago, I vividly recall waiting to give one of the commencement speeches and the student body president announcing me, the organizations I was in and how I was planning to attend MSU for a creative writing degree. It seemed so surreal. And now, with only two semesters left, it’s hard to fathom where all the time went. 

For the last few weeks, I’ve tried to come to terms with all the “last firsts” that will be happening over the next few months. The last first day of school, hockey game, homecoming, Thanksgiving and Christmas break and, come spring, the very last day of school.

I’m taking the time to appreciate all of the feelings that come with these “lasts” and to not take any moment for granted this year. I know I won’t even be thinking about all of those stressful newspaper production nights, the book I have to force myself to read for class or the deadlines I’m overstressing about. I’ll remember having fun nights with my roommates, inside jokes with coworkers and attending fun events wearing my Maverick sweatshirts. 

So, I still went to school with a pit in my stomach like I’ve done in the past, but I tried to remember that, until I get a “big girl job,” this would be the last time I feel nervous about a first day. The beginning of the end doesn’t have to be scary. It just means one chapter is ending, and a new one — hopefully, a better one — lies ahead.

Photo caption: Me on the left is on my first day of school ever at preschool while myself on the right is me on the very last first day of school I will experience as a senior in college (Courtesy Emma Johnson)

Write to Emma Johnson at emma.johnson.5@mnsu.edu