Redhead Ramblings: My spiritual/inner work journey
In the process of overcoming my anxiety, a prompt in my anxiety journal told me to think about what was lacking from my “mindfulness pantry” and what to fill up on. Nutrition, sleep, hydration and quality relationships sometimes get a bit imbalanced, but an easy adjustment. Exercise and gratitude I had a bit of experience in, but needed to build upon. What I lacked was connection in meaning via religion, spirituality or core values.
Finding a belief system has always been a bit of a struggle for me. I grew up baptized at First Congregational Church and went to Sunday school and music camps at First Presbyterian from preschool to about seventh grade. I’ve never been confirmed and I can’t remember the last time I was in a church unless it was for a wedding, funeral or a concert my friend was a part of. For reasons I won’t get into, I didn’t know where I fit in with the connection in meaning after growing up as a Christian and later exploring a bit of agnosticism.
My journey towards spirituality and focusing on my energy wasn’t an overnight shift. It started around the fall of 2022 when I started incorporating yoga into my routine. While yoga traditionally stems from Hinduism with breathwork traced to Buddhism, it wasn’t the reason I chose to start doing yoga (yoga is open to any religion!). Yoga forces you to turn inward with a focus on listening to yourself. Yoga can also be traced to seven chakras or the seven main energy points in your body that can get imbalanced with life events. I highly recommend reading up on how these energies tie into all our lives. While it’s something I’d like to dive into a bit more, it’s only one of the tie-ins to my inner work.
Around the time I started doing yoga, I started listening to a podcast called “Date Yourself Instead” by Lyss Boss. I’d followed her on Instagram for a few years prior when she was a digital nomad and would post about her travels pre-pandemic. Her podcast, while sounding a lot like a girly, dating-horror story, glamour podcast, is anything but that. Majority of her episodes are about how to love yourself the way you are, not lowering your standards and doing the inner work necessary to become the best version of yourself. Another podcast I’ve loved with similar ideologies is “Big Conversations with Haley Hoffman Smith” which focuses on manifesting the life you want and how to find subconscious breakthroughs through inner contemplation. “The Psychology of your 20s” hosted by Jemma Sbeg is another podcast I can’t recommend highly enough as she covers universal struggles 20-somethings believe they go through alone like dating, financial and career stability and every growing pain in between.
As an avid reader, I was also interested in any book that could help me find connection and inner stability. However, I wasn’t wanting to read those super-thick self-help books with vague, condescending titles. When I was out on a shopping trip, I came across a book called “101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think” by Brianna Wiest. It sounded like an easy read and after skimming the glossary, there seemed to be several topics Wiest covered. It didn’t take me long to fall in love with Wiest’s writing. She takes big ideas and breaks them down with her lyrical intellect in a way that’s understandable, but not demeaning. I quickly purchased more of her books and while I’ve only read a few, I’m excited to read more of her work.
Pairing my anxiety journey with my spiritual/inner work journey has been fulfilling the last few years. The best advice I’ve received throughout this process is it’s okay to adapt and change. For someone who’s always struggled with change, this idea has made me realize I can still hold onto my core values while finding new levels of strength and wisdom within me I didn’t know existed. If you’re still struggling to find what “connection to meaning” means for you, it’s never too late to start!
Caption: My anxiety journal and Brianna Wiest’s books have been helpful in my journey towards bettering myself (Courtesy Emma Johnson).
Write to emma.johnson.5@mnsu.edu