Redhead Ramblings: Things redheads only understand

Now that I’ve been writing this column for a couple of months, I thought I’d better address one of my key features: the vibrant mess of red hair I’ve had since I was born. If you exempt the baby baldness, the recessive trait of red hair took hold of both myself and my younger brother. 

While looking like we were adopted growing up and hearing my mom’s previous grievances about red hair before we were born, I’ve never hated the way my hair looked. However, I have heard it all when it comes to red hair. Allow me to explain the situations redheads go through at least once. 

1. The nicknames redheads receive. Whether it’s the basic ones like “Ginger” or “Red” or some of the more crass ones, I’d be shocked to hear one redhead nickname I haven’t heard. You don’t see me saying “What’s up, brunette?” to all of my friends. Also, I will literally steal your soul if you assume I don’t have one. 

2. Talking about our hair color. My grandma told me when I was young and she would take me places, people would come up to me and touch my hair saying “I love this color! Is it natural?” First off, that’s just creepy. Second, I don’t know what bizarre parent would dye a two or three-year-old’s hair. Yes, my hair is natural. I also don’t have any plans on dying it since it’s super hard to strip of natural color and besides, people seem to like the color. Also, do not ask if my carpets match my drapes. I will redirect that question back to you with no shame. 

3. The Redhead Association. It’s truly laughable at the things people assume when they see a redhead. People assume you’re Irish, even if there’s not one strand of DNA shown. People assume you’ll only date redheads if you are one. I’m a fan of brunettes, through and through. Most of all, people assume you are related to every redhead that’s existed. While we likely have a very distant ancestor, that’s the only relation we have. 

4. The sun is an enemy, not a friend. Since redheads have the ability to produce Vitamin D naturally, we don’t need as much from the sun. There’s a fine line for us to get loads of freckles and burning easily. Each summer, I purchase the highest SPF sunscreen I can find, typically in the 70 range, to guarantee I don’t burn. On the off-chance I do burn, it’s not pretty and can take up to two weeks to heal depending on the severity (I already know there’s some sort of skin cancer festering within me). 

5. Knowing every cool fact about red hair. I could go on for hours about the articles I’ve read highlighting facts specific to redheads, but I’ll omit several of them. I’ve learned redheads have higher pain tolerances which require more anesthesia before surgeries, red hair and blue eyes are the rarest combination in the world and while redheads have the least amount of strands of hair at 90,000 strands, it’s thicker than other hair colors.

As I’ve said before, I love my red hair and wouldn’t change a thing about it. While people say blondes have the beauty and brunettes have the brains, redheads have both, a win in my books.

Caption: I’ve always loved my red hair and have never thought once about dying it (Courtesy Emma Johnson).

Write Emma.johnson.5@mnsu.edu